Posted by Sandy on July 05, 1999 at 15:40:54:
Dear Rep Mannix:
Consider this letter to be your annual performance review.
What have you done for me recently? Certain scenes from "Deliverance" come to mind. But let's look at the facts:
1. You've screwed more Oregon workers than the Kama Sutra and his sheep herd. You've flip-flopped more often than Kitzhaber. If you change your views one more time, your constituents are going to hit the ground in a dizzy stupor.
2. You've spent my tax dollars funding research into the mating rituals of red-haired, East Burmuda dwarf pigs. And you've made sure that those 52 inch-waist insurance adjusters that own you have been making 52,003 dineros a year while they torture injured workers, pray to Satan, and leer at your wife when she walks by every morning because she's so ugly.
3. Hey--what do you know--you raised my taxes! This year, I'll pay about enough to feed the Bosnian army just to keep you looking like week-old rat road-kill in that 1970s toupee of yours.
4. You did succeed most lavishly in one respect: I can't help but notice that you've managed to stuff your polyester pants full of large-denomination bills from the Workers' Compensation Insurance Lobbyists, Liberty Northwest, the Associated Oregon Industries and the International Cockroach Society of Sadistic Insurance Providers.
5. You sent me a Aprils Fools card...which I paid for (including the "free" postage). Gee, thanks a lot. I'm sure it was heartfelt--especially that part about "or current resident."
But, perhaps I'm being too hard on you. Between the Friends of Liberty Northwest retreats to the Virgin Islands and that recent junket you went on to Hawaii to investigate that report that there ACTUALLY was an injured worker somewhere in this country being treated humanly by a comp carrier, there must hardly be any time to concern yourself with such less-important issues as workers being discarded by Workers Comp and employers, our right to bear arms, or the crowded, crumbling roads and bridges I take on my way to work as your man servant at the Capital.
I'd like to suggest you take a much-deserved vacation. In fact, I'm going to insist upon it--by not voting for you the next chance I get. I'd sooner give my vote to Daffy Duck, Jesse Helms or Howard Stern. At least they'd be entertaining to watch while they frittered away what's left of my hard-earned income that this states' comp system didn't already rob from me.
Give my regards to your close personal friends and huge campaign contributors on the Management side of MLAC, and also Saddam and Milosevic.
Enjoy your upcoming extended vacation,
Sandy
Salem, Oregon
P.S. Thanks for your last campaign flier. Please send more copies! I used your photo, with great success to toilet-train Ulga, my St. Bernard.